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by Martha Harty, Ph.D.
Conflict is Part of Life
The school day consists partly of reading, writing, and working out math problems, and partly of living with students and teachers and working out “people problems.” Conflicts about rules of the game, name-calling, personal property, and many other issues arise as a normal and natural part of daily routines. Children learn as much from experiencing conflict as they do from reading about science. Conflict situations may lead to anger, fighting, intervention by authorities, and punishments — or alternatively, to discussion, understanding, creative and fair solutions, and improved relationships. Which kinds of outcomes dominate in your classroom, in your school? The answer makes all the difference for kids — whether they feel safe or threatened, enraged or empowered, whether they can get along with the diverse people they encounter and work through problems in their relationships. School climate or culture has a lot to do with what happens when “people problems” arise, and good school climate comes from knowing that everyone’s problems will be handled fairly and peacefully.
What is Conflict Resolution?
You and your students can learn how to settle conflicts with Respect, Courage, Honesty, and Justice — and it isn’t very hard. Conflict resolution consists of a process and a set of skills that can be formulated and taught in a wide variety of ways. It begins with listening, a special kind of listening that may not be easy when conflict is present. In a conflict situation, the person listening:
- encourages people in conflict to tell their stories
- doesn’t interrupt
- expects to find out a valid point of view, perhaps not previously understood
- acknowledges the strong feelings
- explores the fundamental interests, and
- ends with a summary of what was heard.
This approach is designed to assure the speaker that he or she has been fully heard. Simply taking turns in listening this way gets people on a path to solving the real problem instead of reacting to perceived — often misperceived — insults or injuries.
In later stages of the conflict resolution process, people clarify their basic needs or interests and brainstorm to generate creative options. The basics of the process can be learned with about 10 hours of demonstrations and role plays. We encourage all school personnel to seek out this training. A good source may be your local community mediation or community justice center.
Peer Mediation
Many schools have established programs to give advanced training to student mediators, who can then guide their peers through a process for resolving disputes. Giving students responsibility for managing their own conflicts creates leaders. Peer mediation can help students develop a sense of ownership, the feeling that the school is their school.
Benefits of Conflict Resolution
The skills used in conflict resolution are invaluable for:
- building consensus for changes in school policies such as discipline and dress codes
- enhancing relationships among diverse people, and
- providing respect and justice to each individual in the community.
When everyone in a school knows the process, everyone is held accountable for his or her conduct. For example, students hurl fewer insults (and less food!) across lunch tables if they know they will soon have to confront the victim across a mediation table. Kids are eager to learn ways to handle their own conflicts: self-esteem and empowerment result from knowing what to do in situations that once engendered frustration, fear, and powerlessness. Teachers often report amazement at their students’ quick implementation of conflict resolution as well as significant reductions in time spent adjudicating squabbles. And that means more time for teaching and learning!
Activities and Resources
Peacemaking with Heartwood: Heartwood attributes are involved in each stage of conflict resolution processes. This activity helps intermediate students with at least a basic understanding of conflict resolution explore how ethical concepts are applied in peacemaking.
Kreidler, William, (1994), Teaching Conflict Resolution Through Children’s Literature. This basic literature-based curriculum helps teachers introduce, model, and reinforce conflict skills for grades K to 2. Other works by this author for older children such as Elementary Perspectives: Teaching Concepts of Peace and Conflict, are also excellent.
Association for Conflict Resolution — Education Section
The primary national and international clearinghouse for information, resources, and technical assistance for conflict resolution in education. It continues to promote the development, implementation, and institutionalization of school-based conflict resolution programs and curricula, including peer mediation.
Educators for Social Responsibility
ESR helps educators create safe, caring, respectful, and productive learning environments by working with young people to develop the social skills, emotional competencies, and qualities of character they need to succeed.
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